– If the best four years of your life were during high school, there is zero chance of us ever being friends.
– Finding a typo in a book makes me feel like a champion. How is it that I see that and the author and editors did not? I win.
I do this all the time. And with major news publications, which I feel even better about catching errors in.
– I don’t care if you pushed the pedestrian crossing button. I’m pushing it again, but harder.
– Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say.”
– Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart,” all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart.”
– How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
I definitely gotten in trouble for resorting to the smile and nod. Don’t do that when someone tells you something sad.
– Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
-Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
– I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
Seriously CNN, you’re already a joke, at least be honest about your links!