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Stitches on the Horizon

No really, I’m totally getting that sewing machine. Seriously, this week. I mean it! Okay, I’ve been lazy. And now the weather is crappy and I don’t have the urge to pick up a sewing machine at Target and lumber back home with it. But I will. Self-accountability: right here.

I moved to New York 21.5 months ago with a degree in merchandising, experience in journalism and found a job in personal finance. Now I am jobless with too much free time and no excuse not to alter my clothes myself, create new cute dresses and design an occasional embarrassing cat outfit.

What if I had a sewing machine from day one in NYC? I could have…

  • done my own alterations on my bridesmaid dress
  • hemmed pants of my own and the roommate variety, because finding pants that fit perfectly is a hilarious joke
  • started an Etsy store to have a side stream of income no matter where my career goes
  • easily eased boredom by playing around with new designs and old patterns
  • started my own line of cat-wear

What will I really be doing when I finally acquire my sewing machine? We’re about to find out. (Soon… I promise)

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Relearning, Reframing

Somehow I always knew there’d be an end to the free snacks and drinks in my office. Of course, that’s because my company went under and I no longer am privy to that joy. If I could sneak back into the building I would stock up on goodies like I used to encourage my own friends to do.

Now I live in unemployment land, and I’m re-learning how live my daily life. I have to buy more groceries before and actually decide what to eat at all times. Chelsea Market is no longer a catchall for being indecisive. I have to get creative. Have a routine. I need to re-frame how I look at having an open day and what I want to accomplish in the short and long term.

I’m somewhat lost at the moment. Most people in my situation hurried to new jobs or are head strong in their searches. I’m… floating? I’m buying that sewing machine this week. I will get crafty. I need to write more often since it’s been a while since I did any writing for the old job. (Old job? aw, that’s sad-making) I want to figure out my voice again. Create writing tasks covering what a love: Broadway, fashion, entertainment, travel, daily observations, etc. I keep feeling like I need to justify to myself that I can take this time slowly and not only enjoy the freedom but also turn it into something for the future.

Several things this morning have left me feeling sad/teary/angry/discontented, etc. But the only thing I can link to is this, which I find to be so heartbreaking: A Mother’s Loss, a Daughter’s Story

On another note… can someone please pull me away from the American Idiot cast recording? I can’t stop. Must. See. Again. Soon.

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The rage and love, the story of my life

Saturday was a lot of things for me. It was the first full day of life recovering from the massive hangover of being laid off (and the subsequent drinking to forget). It was also the first full day I had to think about actually being without a job, not the just the impending news while still being cocooned in having an office and coworkers to see daily. That might be why I had some unusual, as well as predictable, reactions to seeing American Idiot for the first time.

But first! The lottery situation at Idiot was madness, but luckily Mary has awesome friends who came to help us, because that’s how we won tickets. After a rushed lunch, we were finally waiting in the theater, front row, to see a show I knew was more of a rock concert mash-up of the Green Day album in a 90-minute fast paced show. The stories are told in the lyrics with minimal dialog that’s sung more often than spoken.

The premise is simple and relate-able: three friends decide to make something of their lives and end up on very unique paths. The energy of the show is powerful, so even if the music is pounding and it isn’t an emotional moment, I found myself tearing up at random moments (which I assume is from wondering where the hell my own life is going to head). I haven’t been able to get 21 Guns out of my head… in the context of the show it’s breathtaking. This is the kind of show, for me, that ends leaving me exhilarated as well as a little confused. Mainly, I look forward to seeing it again after listening to the cast recording and approaching the show again from a new perspective.

The rest of the day was spent with friends and the boy… hanging out, munching and boozing (lightly). Even though there’s no job for me to go to on Monday, this is still the end of my weekend. I have to start planning, start figuring out what I want, and start making lists to fill my days. What’s next? Hopefully something fulfilling, something fun. Outside of my future career, there is plenty to look forward to in the coming months in the form of travel, celebrations and more, so I’ll be focusing on the positive. Mostly.

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It’s true

Even when you know it’s coming, even when you think you can’t wait for it to be over officially, getting laid off still is no fun. But there are appropriate ways to celebrate/forget the mess with your always awesome coworkers.

This involves:
A fancy lunch and drinking at Park
Napping and/or running to prepare for the night
Courtyard night drinking at The Sixth Ward
Getting rowdy and drunker (and drunker) as the night goes on
Making a departure
Falling asleep on the F train and walking/running home drunk from Bergen
Regain faculties around noon the next day

Good times. Many memories. Great pictures.

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Uncertain Future

It’s sunny and warm outside. If you forget about the gross humidity business, it’s perfect. After spending a week in the rainy, cool (and cool, har har) Pacific Northwest, this weather is lovely to come home to. But it’s been a lonely week at work, and it’s sad to see things slowly come to an end. I don’t really think about my future career (err, okay, I do, but… see below) but I like focusing on how great it was to have an awesome first job in NYC. Nice, fun coworkers to drink and work with (reverse that?) and learning about web and more in the process.

But now it’s closing time. At 23, I choose to see this as an opportunity. Should I go back to school and move forward in my degree by choosing textiles as a specialty? Who knows. Freelance at several places? Find an editorial job at another company with more desirable content? Or hell, just an established company in general? Ha. Maybe I’ll stop dragging my heels and finally get a sewing machine (I have a blog idea that is possibly awesome or lame).

That whole needing an income and health insurance thing is a drag in the euphoria of having options once again, but I want to remain hopeful. I do remember how six weeks of unemployment drove me nuts two years ago, but this time I’ve prepared myself financially instead of being a poor college grad who moved 3,000 miles to try to find a job. Still, the cat lady life is always on the table.

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A Glimpse of Spring

At least for the next few days it will be nice. Then comes to rain and less desirable weather, which is convenient, because in a little over a week C and I will be in the PNW!

I’ll be returning to the rain and clouds to visit my lovelies in Seattle, Corvallis and Portland over the course of a week. The lucky boy will be taken forcibly through my nostalgia on campus at OSU and will be rewarded with great cheap bars. There’s even a beer and wine festival in Portland! Couldn’t be better.

If I didn’t have friends all over the Northwest to visit in my rationed time off work, I’d probably go back state by state and region by region. The whole west coast feels like a part of my life, and I intend to go back and visit often. Obviously California (the peev, my beach and all those other parts of the state – ha), Oregon, Washington, and even sketchy hostels in Vancouver are near and dear to my heart.

One day when I have more time and money I want to rent a car to travel up or down the whole west coast. Whether that happens before or after my hopeful cross-country road trip is debatable. And totally imaginary since none of this will probably happen for a long time.

Ramble, ramble…

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Shock and Awww


OK, that playbill/promo image is still ridiculous, but wow did Corbin actually live up to the reviews! It’s weird knowing he just turned 21, but he has the charisma and singing ability that makes my heart warm during and after the show.

Janet as Nina is amazing.
Hot Michael was in the ensemble.
The new GP and Carla are not so awesome.
Still too soon to decide about the new Sonny. I HATE that they changed the Twinkie line, but that’s not his fault.
Andrea Burns, Chris Jackson, Eliseo = perfection. I don’t think I’ve seen Eliseo in over a year. So good.
Corbin was emotional and choked up DURING ‘Everything I Know’ and practically cried at his exit… omg. I haven’t cried at the show since Lin.

I can’t wait to go back to see Corbin again over the next 2 months. It makes me happy that the cast is mostly whole again with the same energy as before. And I love that Ricky is back in the ensemble, I love watching him. Several new ensemble people as well, overall very good.

Note to self: Lotto during snow storms or impending snow storms is a great idea!